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TNA Impact TV report
By4.7 TNA Impact
by Jeff Hamlin ( hamlin37@hotmail.com)
The Big News: Mr. Anderson appeared to join Immortal, only to swerve them at the end.
Fortune came out with Christopher Daniels, who got “Welcome Back” chants. Daniels, who had dark eyes apparently from the rough landing he had from a recent Ring of Honor PPV, admitted to having a revolving door relationship with TNA, but it can’t replace the importance of relationships. Especially the one he’s built with A.J. Styles, who he loves like a brother. Daniels decided to return to the company after he saw what Bully Ray power bomb Styles off the ramp. He asked James Storm, Robert Roode and Kazarian to be the fourth man for the Fortune team at Lethal Lockdown. Ric Flair, Ray, Abyss and Matt Hardy showed up. Flair said he didn’t even know who Daniels was. Great way to get over someone who’s started in the company when it ran out of money in four weeks. Flair offered Daniels a chance to leave TNA forever. Daniels told Flair to stick the offer up his ass. Flair said Daniels didn’t even have a contract to wrestle in TNA. Well, not without a mask on. So he ordered him to leave. Daniels said the Network wanted him here, again bringing up the latest mystery authority figure. I guess this one doesn’t have a laptop computer to chime in anonymously. This brought out Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. Hogan said if the Network wanted to give Daniels a contract, he would get one. But he would have to wrestle Ray tonight. For some reason, it was announced later that it would be a lumberjack match. Ray threatened to take Daniels out just like he did Styles. He offered him a chance to go home and watch Oprah. Daniels slugged him, and the faces cleared the ring of the heels.
Mr. Anderson was in the back and pulled out a laptop computer. I thought we were going to get the culmination of the angle where Pope D’Angelo Dinero stole that stagehand’s laptop from January that was forgotten about. No such luck. Anderson found a note addressed to him. It was from Sting, who told him that last week was just the trailer and tonight would be showtime.
Hogan was upset over whoever the mystery Network authority figure overriding his authority and ordered Bischoff to find out what was going on.
1. Mexican America defeated Tommy Dreamer and Devon in 2:00. Tommy Dreamer and Devon did the Team 3-D Wazzup on Anarchia before Hernandez ran in. Dreamer and Anarchia brawled to the floor, where Dreamer got posted. Devon was about to give Hernandez the Saving Grace when Rosita ran in. Devon kissed her. Sarita distracted referee Brian Hebner while Anarchia hit Devon in the back with a chair and Hernandez got the pin. It’s a shame Jeff Hardy’s situation has led to Ray getting the heel push, which has left Devon out in the cold. 1/4*
Postmatch, Sarita and Rosita lifted the mats up off the floor. I guess they thought Bill Watts was booking. Hernandez teased giving Dreamer the Border Toss to the floor, but Matt Morgan ran in for the save. Morgan teased a confrontation with Hernandez, who backed off. Anarchia tried to jump Morgan, who delivered a choke slam as Hernandez ran out.
Winter was upset with Angelina Love over Love agreeing to be Velvet Sky’s tag team partner tonight. The problem is, Love is still sedated. She can’t even talk. Winter kept giving her something to drink, which would apparently leave her more numb.
2. Samoa Joe defeated Murphy in :48 via submission. Dinero came out for commentary. For a 48 second match, no less. Joe clamped on the Kokina Clutch and Murphy tapped. Actually, it was reminiscent of the early UFCs when guys would tap out but the referees didn’t know what it meant because no one knew what they were doing. So the fighter would keep getting choked out until the ref finally caught on, damn near allowing the Art Jimmerson’s of this world to suffocate in the process. In this case, Murphy must’ve been tapping for 10 seconds. Joe chased Dinero to the back afterwards. DUD
Anderson went to get coffee in the back where he found another note from Sting, telling him to finish what they started tonight.
3. Sarita and Rosita defeated The Beautiful People to retain the TNA Knockouts titles in 1:57. Love was still glassy eyed in the trance, which left her unable to participate in the standard Beautiful People entrance. Sarita jumped Sky as she was checking on Love, and it was pretty much a handicap match. Winter came out as Sky went to tag Love. Winter made a sign to Love, who turned around and jumped Sky, punching her out from the mount. Rosita got the pin, which at least made sense after Sky lost to Sarita for weeks before getting her win back. Love then calmly walked to the back with Winter, who appeared proud of having Love under her control. My guess is even though she’s sedated, Love can still drive better than Jalen Rose. DUD
Anderson was looking for Sting backstage when he found Eric Young and Orlando Jordan, who told Anderson he was really into his asshole gimmick. Some of these Russo lines are straight from the worst of the Porky’s movies from the 1980s. Young told Anderson that Sting was in the rafters.
Anderson searched for Sting in the rafters with a lead pipe. As he looked around, a figure with a black leather jacket was lurking behind him. Instead of it being Sting, it turned out to be Rob Van Dam, who beat up Anderson for several minutes with an array of punches and kicks. Van Dam told him the time was 4:20, so Anderson was about to get smoked. Great, let’s use catchphrases that couldn’t get Kronik over in 2000 for Van Dam. Van Dam wound up choking out Anderson with the lead pipe. Don’t ask me who the heel is here, or why Van Dam would jump Anderson after he did the exact same thing to end last week’s show.
Sting came out and wanted to talk to Van Dam. Sting apologized for hitting Van Dam with the baseball bat repeatedly during his horrid debut last March. Sting wanted to know why Van Dam was using his identity to play games with Anderson. Somehow, that led Van Dam to launch into a rant over his days in WCW when he was just starting and and Sting was a main eventer. Van Dam said he wasn’t that way anymore and ready to trump the champion at Lockdown. Hogan and Bischoff came out and arranged a match between Van Dam and Sting tonight. The crowd reaction to this entire segment was shockingly tepid. It just came off like they were watching two guys who have worn out their welcome.
Madison Rayne and Tara were screaming at each other backstage. Rayne reminded Tara that the only reason she has a job in TNA is because of her. Rayne said that Tara had a job to do and ordered her to get on a motorcycle, presumably to jump Mickie James.
4. Brian Kendrick, Suicide and Chris Sabin defeated Generation Me and Robbie E in 4:41. First match on the show to have any reasonable time. Max and Jeremy Buck were still unhappy with each other after wrestling against each other last week. Have no clue why they were teaming this week. Again, Max was the heel and Jeremy the face. Suicide gave Robbie E. the Final Cut. Max Buck tugged at Suicide’s mask, and Robbie gave him a Side Russian Leg Sweep. Brian Kendrick got the hot tag and threw all sorts of kicks on Max. Chris Sabin and Suicide attempted stereo pescados on Jeremy and Robbie, but Suicide missed Jeremy, who ran back in the ring and gave Kendrick a spin kick. Jeremy went to the top rope, but Max turned on his brother and crotched him, then gave him a high angle DDT. Kendrick, looking wary, got the pin on Jeremy. Max took off his Generation Me armband and threw it on Jeremy after the match, so another tag team has turned on each other. **
Hogan laid into Murphy and Rob Terry after their respective losses over the last two weeks. Gunner, the new TV champion, was ordered by Hogan to slap some sense into them. Gunner was all to eager to and leveled Murphy, who was furious. Before they went at it, Anderson walked in and asked to see Hogan. Anderson asked to be the referee for the match with Sting and Van Dam tonight. Anderson acted like he was turning heel and shook hands with Hogan, who smiled thinking that Anderson had joined Immortal. Hogan asked Anderson to bring his lead pipe to the ring with him during the match.
Backstage, James was down, while Tara and Rayne fled away from the scene on the motorcycle. Apparently, we were supposed to believe that they dumped the motorcycle on top of Rayne. Al Snow and other agents attended to her in another injury scene that’s getting repetitive.
5. Bully Ray defeated Christopher Daniels in a lumberjack match in 5:31. Lumberjacks were the respective entourages of each wrestler. Ray is great in his role of the big brawling heel. His offense mainly consisted of stiff chops and kicks, and Daniels did a great job selling for him. Daniels made his comeback with an enzuigiri, a flying huracanrana and the BME before Ric Flair pulled referee Jackson James out of the ring. That led to the predictable lumberjack brawl. Hulk Hogan ran out and hit Daniels with a chain allowing Ray to get the pin. **3/4
Jeff Jarrett came out with the steel cage set up around him. He accused Kurt Angle of intentionally violating the restraining order that Karen Jarrett had set up against him to avoid facing Jeff at Lockdown. Jarrett was pretty funny mentioning that he and Karen had agreed to not let the kids visit Kurt in prison because they didn’t feel like it would set the right example for them. It also cuts too close to home in real life. Jarrett arranged for Karen to make a special appearance, but instead Angle’s music hit and Kurt came sailing in on Suicide’s bungee cord. They were about to square off in the cage when Jeff simply climbed up the cage and left. So what’s the point of having a cage when someone can just climb over so easily and escape? Why should we buy the PPV when that’s the case? Karen came running out to help her husband to safety.
Angle explained afterwards that he got released from jail after the police saw the footage of Karen calling in the phony battering charge. We’ve now established that the Orlando police now watch Impact more than the wrestlers within the company do. Angle said there was going to be a special stipulation for his match at Lockdown.
6. Rob Van Dam defeated Sting with Mr. Anderson as the special referee in 3:14 in a nontitle match. Van Dam and Anderson were alone in the ring together, yet Anderson didn’t jump him even though he had been choked out earlier. Taz tried to explain the unexplainable by saying that Anderson was just picking his spots. Sting is basically limited now to just doing his trademark finishers. After he gave Van Dam a Stinger splash and Scorpion Death Drop, Anderson delivered a Mic Check. Van Dam, who “didn’t see it,” got the pin after a Five Star Frog Splash. *
Anderson railroaded Van Dam after the match with the TNA championship belt and screamed at Van Dam that he was the real champion. Terry and Murphy came out to raise Anderson on their shoulders while Hogan applauded from the ramp, thinking that Anderson had officially joined Immortal. Instead, Anderson hit both Terry and Murphy with the lead pipe and gave them both the mic check. Anderson screamed that Hogan was next while Hogan seethed.
SUMMARY: This program with Anderson is successfully making him less over. The final segment crammed in one month’s worth of angles within five minutes. The crowd isn’t as taken with Anderson as they once were, but with this booking how can you blame them?
Curt. Wrestling Observer.
