TNA TV Report 3-17-11

The Big News: The Countdown to Lockdown is underway with a major angle where A.J. Styles was left incapacitated after getting power bombed off a ramp by Bully Ray in an angle played up as big as any in recent company history. It was one of the best executed segments in quite sometime on Impact. It also came after one of the worst ever. As for Jeff Hardy, he was an afterthought, never to be mentioned after the first segment, where he was buried.

Sting came out with a new TNA Heavyweight title belt, and it does indeed appear this is the third new TNA championship belt in five months. How a company can afford three new top title belts when they’re supposedly losing money is beyond me. Sting called out Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. He handed Hogan the purple title belt and said “this is all that’s left of Jeff Hardy.” Sting brought up how Hardy came into the company eager and enthusiastic, but it was Hogan’s influence that twisted his mind into not giving a damn. Actually, I think I could say that about half the guys who have come from WWE to TNA, and Hogan and Bischoff aren’t the reason why they feel that way. Sting did another good interview saying there’s nothing he could do to save Hardy, but he can save 50 other wrestlers in the back. Hogan pretty much buried Hardy as well, saying he let Immortal down and spoke of him in the past tense. Hogan said Sting needs to worry about his own ass, not the other wrestlers in the back. He said his cell phone rings off the hook from wrestlers all around the world trying to join Immortal. Sting wondered who he was talking about. Bully Ray came out and said he had been calling Hogan and put him over as the man who made wrestling. Ray said the only reason why Sting came back was because he could never escape Hogan’s shadow. He asked Hogan if he could join Immortal so he could face Sting for the TNA Heavyweight title. Hogan looked like he was about to give him the title shot when Fortune came out with new music. A.J. Styles said they have Sting’s back. Styles said that Ray started out aspiring to be a singles star, but he had to find a partner who carried the load. He said without Brother Devon, there would be no tag team titles and no one would have heard of him. Ray said if it wasn’t for Dixie wiping Styles’ ass for the last eight years, he would be out in the street. Ray said if it wasn’t for Devon, he would be a 23-time World Heavyweight Champion. That elicited visible laughter from the crowd. Ray was about to ask Hogan for his title shot when Styles slapped him. Then Mr. Anderson came out for his weekly interview about demanding a title shot. He called himself an asshole, and Hogan said “you really are an asshole.” This whole gimmick now is directly lifted from a Dennis Leary stand-up routine from 1992. Anderson called Hogan “Terrence,” which got a brief “Terrence” chant. Bischoff ordered a four-way match for tonight between Anderson, Ray, Styles and Rob Van Dam. Anderson didn’t want any part of it saying he earned the title shot, but Hogan overruled him and the four-way was on.

Backstage, Kurt Angle came into the building with a big gift for Karen and Jeff Jarrett as a newlywed present.

Styles walked to Van Dam’s locker room and asked him to watch his back. Van Dam said he would go out and try to win the match for himself while Styles would do what he does.

1.      Madison Rayne defeated Alyssa Flash in :16 to retain the TNA Knockouts Championship. Alyssa Flash was jumped before the ring entrance, depriving us of what would have been the best part of the match. She looked in great shape. Madison Rayne pinned her after the Rayne Drop. Flash looked so delighted over the finish, she simply got up and walked directly to the back. This was the only 16 seconds of wrestling in the first hour of the show.

DUD

Mickey James ran in demanding a title shot, and Rayne turned it down. James offered anything for a title shot, and Rayne said she wanted her hair at Lockdown. James agreed.

Pope D’Angelo Dinero was rehearsing his miracles with his three subjects backstage to let us all know in advance that the upcoming segment where he was supposed to form magical miracles was all a sham. He had a man who pretended to be blind, a man in a wheelchair who he taught to jump up and start dancing, and a fat woman who was, well, fat.

Anderson was screaming at Hogan about wrestling for a title shot that he already owns. Hogan reminded him that he couldn’t beat Van Dam at Victory Road. Anderson ordered the cameraman out of the room.

Next segment will be firmly enshrined in the WCW/TNA bad angle Hall of Fame someday. Dinero said this was a time where miracles need to be performed. Why didn’t he start Sunday by making Victory Road a decent show? In the ring was the blind man, the fat woman and the man in the wheelchair. The blind man couldn’t see until Dinero spit into his hands, rubbed them together and pushed them against the man’s forehead. Suddenly, the blind man could see. Then he rubbed his hands on the handicapped man’s legs, and the man could suddenly walk again. Then he approached the fat girl and rubbed against her body to no avail. Dinero said not even Jesus could help her lose weight. This brought out Samoa Joe and Okada. Dinero bailed at first, then tripped Okada, dragged him out of the ring and held what appeared to be a knife to his throat. Ugh. As if they didn’t get the message years ago when Joe was doing that lame “Nation of Violence” gimmick where he carried around a serrated blade. Even worse, you could hear the audience openly laughing at this. It was painful to watch Joe have to overact. Then Dinero tossed Makato to the back, took the knife and pushed it against his own throat to show it was a fake blade and laughed about toying with Joe’s head. I know it’s only March, but I’ll be surprised if there’s a worse feud program in wrestling this year.

Within minutes, Dinero somehow had Makato tied up in chains to the roof of the building, where he hit him with a cane. Dinero ripped off his mask and vowed to take him to the streets. He tossed in several more cane shots to the groin before Joe, screaming like a banshee, rescued him. Even worse, Joe had to act concerned over his friend. This program is career suicide for just about everyone involved.

Van Dam approached Anderson and accused him of joining Immortal. Anderson acted like he didn’t know what he was talking about and said for all he knows, Van Dam may have joined Immortal.

Velvet Sky was talking to Angelina Love thinking they were teaming together in a street fight against Sarita and Rosita. Then Winter walked in and said that Love was teaming with her, not Sky. Winter reminded Love that Sky costs them the TNA Knockouts titles on Sunday. Sky denied doing that intentionally. Love reluctantly left with Winter while Sky was left to wonder what was going on.

The Jarretts came out with Jeff calling himself the “Ultra Male.” Jarrett said now that he’s beaten Angle, he wants to offer a truce. Jarrett said they have to co-exist for the sake of his kids. Angle came out with his gift and admitted that Jarrett was the husband and father that he could never be. He brought the gift as a symbol of forgiveness. Jarrett looked uncertain and asked him if he was being sincere. Jarrett opened the gift to find a guitar painted with American flag colors. The three raised their hands together until Angle grabbed the guitar and walloped Jeff with it. Karen immediately tried to give Angle a low blow, but he just laughed and pulled out a cup he was wearing. Jeff had a nasty gash over his head and it appeared to be hardway blood. It actually made for an awesome visual as Jarrett had a ring of crimson around his eyes. Karen ran off to the corner in fear while an enraged Angle screamed at Jeff to face him in a cage match at Lockdown. Karen begged Jeff not to, but Angle warned them both that if Jeff didn’t, he would make their lives into a living hell everyday. Finally, Jeff said yes. Angle was great here, and it had the right intensity.

Bischoff talked with Gunner, Murphy and Rob Terry about the importance of claiming all of the championships for Immortal. Bischoff announced that Abyss had been stripped of the TV title after Crimson buried Janis in his back. Tonight, Bischoff told the three of them that they would face each other for the vacant title.

Karen freaked out and called the police about Kurt. Jeff came out looking like he had a two-inch cut in his head from the guitar shot.

2.      Gunner defeated Murphy to win the vacant TNA TV title in a three-way match that also included Rob Terry in 1:45. Hulk Hogan’s wife Jennifer and daughter Brooke were shown at ringside. As the match started, the cops were shown pulling up to the building. That Orlando police is prompt. Gunner and Murphy acted like they weren’t getting along. Gunner speared Terry, and pinned Murphy with a TKO. Bischoff came out to applaud Gunner following the victory. Not long, but that was probably a good thing. DUD.

Styles did a promo saying he had been in the backseat too long. Then Ric Flair walked up and said he had three other guys to deal with. Styles decked Flair with one punch, then talked about how good that felt.

Karen demanded to an officer that Angle be arrested. Jeff tried to calm her down, then started screaming. He demanded that Karen be put in protective custody while he vowed to take care of it himself.

Hernandez did a pro-Mexico interview before the intergender trios match saying America was once the white man’s land, but now it’s “their” land.

3. Matt Morgan, Winter and Angelina Love defeated Hernandez, Rosita and Sarita in 1:20. Hernandez loosened a turnbuckle, but Matt Morgan rammed him into it in the opening minute. Rosita and Sarita jumped on Morgan’s back, but Morgan dumped them onto the mat. Winter then pinned Rosita following a Catatonic into a backbreaker. DUD

Postmatch, an unknown man ran out of the crowd to jump Morgan. Mike Tenay and Taz didn’t know who he was, saying he was a fan who jumped the rail last week. Morgan recovered and chased them all off.

4.      Rob Van Dam and Mr. Anderson pinned each other in the four-way match that also included A.J. Styles and Bully Ray in 5:52. All four men were in the ring at the same time. A good portion of the match was spent trying to make Ray into a singles star. Styles got a great near fall following the springboard forearm. Van Dam gave Styles a Rider Kick for a near fall, which Anderson followed with a swinging neckbreaker on Van Dam. Styles missed a pescado on Ray, who pulled out a chair. As he was about to swing it, referee Earl Hebner grabbed it and pulled it down inside the ring. At that point, Anderson gave Van Dam a back suplex on the chair, and while both men shoulders were down, Hebner counted both men down. **1/4

Hebner looked indecisive and was about to tell ring announcer Jeremy Borash who won. But Ray hit Hebner, then decked Borash as well. Styles and Ray continued to brawl on the floor after the match ended, including Styles hitting Ray with a lighting kit. Styles threatened to hit Ray with a chair on the stage when Flair ran up from behind and gave Styles a low blow. Why didn’t Styles have his cup on? Ray threatened to hit Styles with the chair, then thought better of it and power bombed him off the ramp onto a table, just like the one he gave Mae Young during the Attitude era. Both men sold it like they were dead, with Al Snow among the agents running out to check on them. They sold this more than any angle in years. The last ten minutes of the show consisted of Ray screaming at Styles that he hopes that he never wrestles again, while Snow and Pat Kenney pulled him backstage. Meanwhile, Styles was lifted onto a stretcher while close-up shots of individual crowd members with concerned looks on their faces punctuated the scene. It was well done because it was given time to breathe. The rest of Fortune came out, with Robert Roode asking James Storm and Kazarian which one of them should call Styles’ wife Wendy. Kazarian did the honors, identifying himself as Frankie, and the ambulance pulled away.

SUMMARY: The final segment was the best executed angle TNA has done in several years. Hopefully, the follow up won’t be disappointing. Styles should return a bigger star than before. It’s amazing that angle took place one hour after that atrocity with Dinero and Joe. All that from the same company. The angle with Ray-Styles and the Kurt Angle-Jeff Jarrett segments were the only highlights of an otherwise bad show.

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