TNA Impact TV report

Sting came out for his celebratory interview after winning the TNA Heavyweight championship last week. He thanked the fans, and said he was thankful for Jeff Hardy and was hopeful that Hardy would get his head screwed back on straight again. Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff came out Hogan said Sting was a day late and a dollar short after Sting quit once he found out how they were trying to take over control of the company from Dixie Carter. Sting said he never quit on the fans, and while he was sitting home the fire within him started burning again. Mr Anderson then showed up to say he wanted his title match, even if it meant wrestling Sting, who he introduced himself to with his catchphrase. This brought out Hardy to say the line for the title shot starts behind him. Rob Van Dam continued the parade by demanding his title shot saying he never lost it after Abyss bludgeoned him with Janis last summer. The crowd didn’t react because they didn’t remember Janis or the angle. Van Dam then lit into Sting for calling the shots after showing up out of nowhere. Bischoff then said “we all know” that Sting would defend the title against Hardy at Victory Road. We did? He then ordered Sting and Van Dam would team tonight to face Anderson and Hardy.

Backstage, Angelina, Cookie and Sarita walked into the Beautiful People’s locker room. Angelina started running down Angelina Love, which brought in Winter. Velvet Sky told Love that Winter better be on the same page as them tonight.

1. Pope D’Angelo Dinero defeated Samoa Joe in 3:20. Oktao dressed up as the Green Hornet character is turning Samoa Joe into a prelim act. It was clear this was a match the crowd didn’t want to see as they were silent throughout, and keep in mind how hot they were last week. Pope D’Angelo Dinero came out of the crowd to hit Okato with a chain before the bell. Joe caught an inverted atomic drop and a sexton, followed by a powerslam for a two count. Dinero turned the tables with a clothesline, then loosened a turnbuckle pad. Joe caught an exploder suplex, and while he was down Dinero grabbed his chain. While referee Brian Hebner tried to put the turnbuckle pad back on, Joe went for the muscle buster, but Dinero hit him with the chain for the pin. One heel outsmarting two faces. All you can do is just shake your head at the idiocy of that booking. 1/2*

Bully Ray came out of his locker room and challenged Tommy Dreamer to a parking lot brawl.

Madison Rayne came out with Tara, who continues to tease a turn. She announced another open challenge, which brought out another surprise appearance from Roxxi, who didn’t get much of a response.

2. Madison Rayne defeated Roxxi in 1:31 to retain the TNA Knockouts title. Rayne jumped Roxxi before the bell, but Roxxi battled back with an Anderson spine buster and caught a near fall with a cradle. Rayne kicked out and delivered the Rayne Drop for the clean pin. DUD

During the match, Mike Tenay and Taz mentioned that Mickie James hadn’t been seen since losing to Rayne at Against All Odds. I was thinking that was the start of a month-long program culminating in her return in April. You would think I’d know better by now, because she came in at the end of this match to chase Rayne from the ring. Well, it wouldn’t be Impact without blowing off four weeks of angles in one segment once a week, at least.

Dreamer brought a camera man outside to the parking lot to accept Ray challenge.

Ray called out Dreamer, in fact stealing a catchphrase from the 1979 movie “The Warriors.” Well, it is a cult classic. And it’s more recent that the Sound of Music. As Ray was standing there, Brother Devon ran out, jumped him and laid waste to him, ramming Ray into the side of an 18-wheeler, hitting him with a chain and construction barrels. Ray was begging Devon to stop but Devon was hearing none of it. Then Devon pulled out a sledgehammer until Dreamer came out to stop him. Dreamer cautioned him that Devon could go to jail. Hadn’t he done enough for an assault charge already? After Dreamer led Devon away,  an unknown security guard came out for this week’s anonymous character cameo. He wanted to check on Ray, who responded by jumping him, whipping him with a chain and throwing a guard rail on him. Ray didn’t sell the fierce beating long enough, but I guess he had to get his heat back.

3. The Beautiful People and Winter defeated Angelina, Cookie and Sarita in 1:51. Winter again got in the way of the Beautiful People’s ring entrance by rubbing her butt in Sky’s face. Angelina insisted to Sarita that she start the match. Rosita tripped Sky, setting up Angelina to throw punches from the mount. Taz mentioned “She’s done that before.” It quickly escalated into a six-way brawl outside the ring, which distracted referee Earl Hebner for a good minute. Robbie E. ran in to interfere and held Sky for Angelina to hit. Cookie came in and said she wanted to hit her. Then Winter stepped between them and acted like she was going to punch Sky, but instead clotheslined Angelina (who took a decent bump) and Cookie instead. Robbie started coming on to Winter, who bit his hand and kicked him out of the ring. Sky then pinned Angelina with a schoolgirl cradle. Sky looked legitimately pissed afterwards. DUD

Hogan, Bischoff and Hardy were backstage with Anderson trying to talk him into doing something, I guess into turning heel. This was never really explained. Hardy and Anderson nearly went at, and Anderson stormed out after Bischoff reminded him that Van Dam isn’t fond of him, as well.

Ric Flair came out with Matt Hardy. Flair called out A.J. Styles. How can you put Styles out there against Flair in front of a North Carolina crowd with the hopes of getting him over? That’s called setting him up to fail. Flair fired off some great one-liners about how he slept with of the guys’ mothers in the crowd. Styles started to make his comeback when Hardy interrupted him. You can’t understand how much charisma Hardy has lost until you’ve seen it yourself. He lost the crowd within seconds in a rambling promo that went nowhere. Styles jumped him to start a three-way street fight match with Flair, who was dressed in an Armani suit.

4. Ric Flair pinned A.J. Styles in a three-way match that also included Matt Hardy in 10:00. Styles gave Flair an enzuigiri, then clamped on the Figure Four. Hardy came back in and delivered a leg drop off the second rope for a two count. They fought outside the ring, where Hardy hit Styles with a trash can. Hardy pulled out a ladder and rammed it into Styles’ chest. Hardy teased the Twist of Hate, but Styles threw him into the ladder. Flair came back in to kick Styles low, but Styles fought back and Flair juiced again. Flair took the face-first fall. Hardy jumped back in the ring for the side effect for a good near fall. Flair picked up a chair, but Styles gave him a super kick, followed by a Pele kick to Hardy. Styles teased the Styles Clash on Hardy on the chair, but Flair gave him a low blow, followed by Hardy delivering the Twist of Hate onto Styles on a chair. This allowed Flair to crawl on top of Styles for the pin. Interesting that Flair, who wrestles mainly as a special attraction, was the one who got the pin and not Hardy. It was announced later that Hardy would face Styles at the PPV. **1/2

Next came one of those segments where you had to follow the myriad of TNA storylines from months ago in order to make sense of. Sting told Van Dam that when Van Dam debuted in the company, he was with Bischoff and Hogan. Oh God, they want to remind us that Sting got pinned in five seconds by RVD last March, then proceeded to bury Van Dam by battering him with a baseball bat for, something like, 6 minutes. Even worse, they were teasing Sting vs. Hogan back then before Hogan’s back troubles came into play. Van Dam reminded Sting that he fell off the map after he lost the championship. Sting apologized, but Van Dam said he was sorry too, then walked off.

5. Ink Inc. defeated Generation Me in 4:13. The gimmick here was Jeremy Buck kept doing a hot move to Shannon Moore, then Max Buck would tag in trying to steal the pin, which Jeremy looked upset with. Well, we haven’t teased tag team dissension in at least 10 minutes. Jesse Neal got the hot tag, with Taz calling him Shannon Moore. Neal went for the spear, but Max gave him a Superkick. Then Max tagged Jeremy, who was still recovering from a clothesline earlier from Neal. Max set up Neal on the second rope, and Max tried to hoist Jeremy into him. But Neal gave Jeremy a spear. Neal gave Jeremy the Mooregasm, and Neal pinned him. Ink Inc. then issued challenges to Beer Money afterwards. **

Hardy asked Anderson in the locker room if he was going to turn on him tonight. Anderson said he was unconventional, and an asshole, then walked off. So both teams in the main event teased fighting with each other.

Dinero did a promo about ridding TNA of Joe once and far all. If he really wanted to hurt him, he would have Russo control his story lines for another year.

Jeff and Karen Jarrett did an interview about renewing their vows last week and how Kurt Angle wrecked it. Jeff wanted to take her on a honeymoon to Orlando, which she didn’t looked thrilled with at first. Then they left together looking happy about doing something at Victory Road.

They did a great video package for the Ultimate X match. Then they announced that Kazarian would defend the X Division title against Robbie, Max and Jeremy Buck. Great buildup of pounding that match into our heads in a span of….30 seconds.

Sting did an interview about his return last week. Then Anderson, of all people, jumped him from behind, rammed his back into a door,  then screamed about wanting a title match. Sting was left gasping for air. Almost came off like a heel turn for Anderson.

6. Rob Van Dam and Sting defeated Mr. Anderson and Jeff Hardy in 4:18. Sting didn’t come out during his entrance to sell the beating that Anderson had just given him. That didn’t make the crowd happy, who chanted for him while they ignored the action in the ring between Anderson and Van Dam. Anderson tagged Hardy by slapping him in the back of the head. Referee Herb Dean immediately deducted a point. Van Dam gave Hardy Rolling Thunder for a two count. Anderson refused to tag in when Hardy approached him. Then Hardy tagged Anderson in by slapping him on the chest. Hardy hit the Twist of Hate on Van Dam and went for the pin, but Anderson punched Hardy and gave him the Mic Check. Then the lights went out and Sting’s music played. Sting showed up in the ring and gave Anderson a Scorpion Death Drop, and Van Dam got the pin after a Five Star Frog Splash. Van Dam and Sting celebrated together *1/2

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